PARENTING TEENS

Okay, so I was thinking the other day about what it's like being the Mom of two teenagers and my thoughts took me back to when my two oldest were just toddlers. As I pondered the various growing phases they have gone through, I was reminded how "high maintenance" they were at the pre-school age. Once they got into elementary school, things seemed to get a little easier. They became more self sufficient, could think for themselves, do more things for themselves, etc... For some odd reason I thought as they continued to get older, it would be smooth sailing by the time they became teenagers. Wow, was I ever in for a surprise! I suppose that would be true if my plans were to become an uninvolved parent offering very little input once they hit the teen years. Sometimes I think it would be far too tempting to fall into that trap because parenting can be a very exhausting task. It is very rewarding but very exhausting at times.

In all actuality, I think we've circled back around to the "high maintenance" phase again. I've discovered that my kids need me now, more than ever, even though they don't always show it. I seem to be the answer-all, the cheerleader, the taxi service, the ear to listen when they want to vent, the shoulder to cry on, the counselor, the friend and the Mom. Most often, the ear to listen and the advice giver. I've also learned a valuable lesson and that is... when my teenagers want to talk... drop whatever I am doing and talk. I've found that when I try to bring up heartfelt conversation on my terms, it pretty much never works. It's like trying to pry top secret information out of a Marine, especially with my son. But, if I stop everything I'm doing to sit down and talk when they want to talk... they will ramble on in an unloading session and tell me everything going on their lives. Those moments end up being precious bonding times that I will never get back.

Yesterday, my 15 year old daughter was watching videos of herself from when she was younger. I was doing housework and occasionally caught glimpses of what she was watching and I realized how quickly the years have gone by. The events on the video are so vividly imprinted on my mind as if they happened just a few days ago. However, it was very clear in seeing the toddler in the video and my 15 year old on the couch, that many years have gone by since then. Right then I made a decision to put forth the mental energy they need to go through ll the ups and downs of high school with them and be there to listen any time they want to walk. I recognize that fifteen more years will fly by just as quickly as the past 15. Their teenage adventures will be a memory of the past just like the videos of their toddler years and I want make sure I make each with them count.